QUANTUM CHESS CHECKMATE! WAR OF 1812? CHECK ONE:
 The White House is on fire
[I] The White House is NOT on fire
Dear Crown Prince William,
I’ve been watching “Downton Abby” and fancy the youngest daughter, Cybil. I stupidly got my mother involved by inviting her to watch with: she scoffed at my favorite daughter, “Oh, you like the BABY,” she said, (my fault, she was not in proper mating (?) attire) “[SLUR].”
Endearing, I thought. I’m the ‘“baby!” The youngest, that is to say. Isn’t that sweet, and/or a tragedy? <—— Circle one.
Question: Is Ricky Gervais hilarious or informative?
Thank you for your service in the Coalition of the Willing. Or [ILLEGIBLE] otherwise. I hope the 42 commando finds you well.
A. A. Marine
P.S. I meant Prince Harry. I hope the 42 Commando finds him well. How much is a King’s ransom?
“It’s Harry’s bloody handwriting.” -CP
 CP? Who the f*** is CP? That’s it. We’re gonna get that sneak Chris Pine. Good, this time.
[I] The literal blood on the letter? It didn’t bother His Majesty. Not in the least.